Entry #10: How to Evade a Traffic Ticket

I was in English 101 on a late Friday class. The students were planning on they would be doing as soon as they got out of the class. Our professor, Dr. Thomas Carey, had the task of explaining to us how to use rhetoric in a process paper.  He came into the class and said that he was going to lecture for 15 minutes and then tell a story. If he fails to get the attention of any student during the story, that student is free to leave the class. Mr. Carey came from of family of traffic cops.  He told a story of how to evade a traffic ticket. Needless to say, no one left the class. As a matter of fact, every student took notes. Even the ones who came without paper and pen borrowed some paper to take notes. Fortunately, I never had to try any of these tactics but I would like to share them with you.

Never speed in a construction or school zone. Do not speed when you are the only car on the road. It is easy for the cop to pick the signal on his detector and locate it to you. Avoid using the far left lane. Cars in this lane are more susceptible to become targets for the cop who is hiding in the median strip or coming from the opposite direction in a divided highway.  It also helps if you have car stickers which support traffic police welfare organizations instead of something that says, “I brake for nobody.” If you are caught and see a cop with blaring siren behind you, pull over and remain in your car. If it is dark outside, turn on your interior lights. Turn off the music. Pull out your license and insurance papers and wait for the cop to approach. If you are pulled over, chances are that you know why. Do not start the conversation by admitting your mistake. If there is a genuine reason for speeding, tell the cop. If not, render him an apology. Crying is a very effective way to get out of a ticket. You can cry and plead but make it look real. DO NOT argue with the cop or act arrogant.  Never try to flirt with the officer to get out of the ticket, especially if it’s a female officer. Do not try to bring race/gender issues. Also remember once the Officer starts walking back to his car, chances are you are getting a ticket.  Ask him for a break or a written warning. Finally, the traffic cops need to meet a minimum quota for the month.  If you are caught towards the start of the month, the chances of these tricks working are far higher. If you are caught speeding, these tricks work only as long as you are under a reasonable limit.